Oh. My. Firetrucking. God.
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bohemian
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Wed Jun 19, 2019 10:38 am
Spoilers: A triggered and extremely upset Bo ranting ahead.

So, as most of the regulars and the lurkers would know by now, my dad's eldest brother and my absolute favourite uncle, died on Monday morning. I am devastated that I'll never see him again, but he was 87 years old and it was his time to go. My dad and sister were there with him when he died. The only time I've actually cried, was when I was in the shower Monday night and it was ugly crying.

Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh

My immediate family and I knew from the start, once uncle John died, it was going to start. The sh*tstorm is upon us. So, let me break it down for you guys (I'm hoping that getting all this out of my system may at least help me in my grief if anything). In dad's family, there is Uncle John, no wife or children, Uncle Tom, married 5 children, sister (no idea how to spell her name), married 3 children, Uncle Michael, married 3 children, dad, married 5 children and Aunty Julie, married 1 child. Now, when Old Jack died, dad and Michael were the people who had to handle the will. Michael wanted to sell the two properties, but dad wanted to give both John and Tom a chance to buy them because they were living and working on them. The sister who I never met, wanted to buy them, even though her and her husband already had two properties. So in the end, John and Tom kept the properties and the sister cut off contact with all her siblings and as this happened before I was born, I never met her. No great loss for me though.

Fast forward to 12 years ago when Aunty Julie died. Michael brought up with dad about they should have sold the properties and yadda yadda yadda and that ended up souring what little of a relationship they had left. They haven't spoken since. I think my uncle that I never met died a few years later and then my aunt died...maybe 3 or 4 years ago now. And now uncle John.

Now, the biggest problem is basically uncle Tom's family and the highly toxic and poisonous sh*t that is going on with that family and it started almost 15 years ago now. My cousins are Chris, Majella, Philip, James and Juacynta. All of them are bloody idiots. The lot of them. This is how backwards the lot of them are, Juacynta got pregnant by a married man (not admirable I know, but I've met him and he seems a nice enough bloke, just very much stuck in a horrible situation...it seems to be a generational thing going on really) and lost the "golden child" title. And since then, she's been treated worse and worse as the years have gone by. I've witnessed it with my own eyes when I've been with them. It's not pretty. Basically, only the sisters really converse due to what has been happening with my uncle and aunt (their parents) and the "golden boy" Philip...and the creature he married. Juacynta has been contacting my parents to let us know what is going on, but now because it has come out that Tom and his wife are the whatever it is called who handles the will, we have no idea what is going on for the funeral which was getting marked down for Friday next week. James has been calling us the last few days to fill us in and get some answers and that is when we found out about the will having Tom and his wife to carry out John's last wishes. He hasn't spoken to them in years because of their treatment of their daughter. Juacynta is the one who has been taking care of him and would know his last wishes better than those two.

It is basically a clusterf*ck of a family. I am pretty sure when dad dies, we probably won't tell anyone...until maybe after we've buried him. All the drama on his side of the family is NOT worth it. My sister and I are going to go for the throats of anyone who wants to start sh*t with our part of the family. Even though our dad acts like a sourpuss and negative Nancy at times, and we typically ignore what he says in regards to that, we still love him and we don't want to see him hurt any more than he already is. We won't put up with it and if it means cutting off ties with the family, than so be it.

Almost all day, I've been shaking with either anger or anxiety or both. I just can't wait for this funeral to be over and done with. But...*squints at the wall of text sheepishly*...at least now I feel better. Embarassed
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Blazestorm
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Wed Jun 19, 2019 1:48 pm

Well, I'm glad you got at least that much out of your system and are feeling a tad better, Bo. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's never easy when somebody you care about passes, but when peoples' egos, greed, and pettiness get in the way, it just makes everything soooo much worse.

Try not to stress about it too much (yeah, I know, that can be a lot to ask, especially when you're in the middle of it, but that's when it's the most necessary!), know that you're welcome to vent and rant and rave here... and that you're not alone; I have known a lot of families go through similar things (including my own), made 100% worse when the patriarch/matriarch of a family branch passes.

You'll get through this... and we're here for you in the process...

... and please accept my condolences on your uncle Yes

{{*hugs*}} Heart Heart

Rayven
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Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:52 pm
Bo I'm sorry you're going through all of that on top of losing your uncle. Crying or Very sad I hope things get better for you soon. *hugs*

My Dad's family went through all of that too when my grandma died. Most of them don't even speak anymore, not that they were very close to begin with. You get to see someone's true colors pretty quick when an elder dies and there are properties and personal items to sell and/or distribute. People start acting like it's Black Friday. Rolling Eyes Then, like you said, everyone starts evaluating their perceived hierarchy in the family, and all of the times they feel they've been wronged over the years. It winds up being a big mess. Sometimes I think family is overrated. Sigh Greedier members of the family need to let the other members grieve before they start getting grabby hands, and stirring the pot.
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bohemian
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Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:24 am
Thanks guys. I'm trying not to get stressed out by all this, but it is hard. No denying that factor. Mum was on the phone to James yesterday and found out what the dynamics are within that part of the family, and like I said, it's not good. I could hear mum telling dad about it afterwards and I opened my door up a bit to listen properly. James doesn't have much of a relationship with anyone in his family due to the fact that they don't understand, or perhaps it is won't understand, his biological son's autism (he and his lovely wife have adopted a few kids). My sister who was there for the start of the conversation and left to take our niece off to her next part of school for the day, called up later to let us know that we have the accommodation for the period that the funeral was taking place. I told her that she is lucky that she left because this is a bigger sh*tstorm than either of us thought, and oh by the way, we now have a new older brother by the name of Jim who will be sitting with his "new" family at the funeral.

So yeah...fun times ahead! thunk



Edit: It's getting worse now...
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Court Jester? Bo? Tasty
Bo, official Zantarni nudist. eBil
Rayven: *gets hit in the face with some underwear* Wow Bo sure likes to get naked! XD
Riley: Bo, the Goat Whisperer. XD
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UtterlyWeird
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Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:12 am
**hug**
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Rayven
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Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:13 pm
Bo are things calming down any yet?
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bohemian
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Fri Jun 21, 2019 8:10 pm
I've gone well past anger now. Aside from my parents and my siblings, the only family I have now, is my mum's side of the family.

My sister got a text message from James last night, asking her if it was true that the funeral had been held at 11am that morning. She never replied to his message. As far as I know, we were not notified by those spineless ba5tards.

Typically if I say, "I can't even", it's in a joking manner. But I am so far past anger, that I can't even.

Starting from next month, I am purging all of dad's ex-family, from my facebook. I don't want to know any of them, not even my second cousins. I don't care any more.

Edit: Found out this morning, that the funeral director put the wrong date up on the website for the funeral. Still doesn't make me any less angry about the whole thing. But next week on Wednesday I'm going to be getting a short term fishing license so that I can go fishing. Because going fishing with the family would be better than going to the funeral with the vultures hovering around.
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- Ignis Fatuus -
Court Jester? Bo? Tasty
Bo, official Zantarni nudist. eBil
Rayven: *gets hit in the face with some underwear* Wow Bo sure likes to get naked! XD
Riley: Bo, the Goat Whisperer. XD
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