Rayven's Nest-30,000 zg to 1st poster on pg. 300!
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Rayven
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Sun Apr 22, 2018 10:14 pm
I understand. I'm just glad that you're not upset about something. I did notice, but I didn't want to pry. I'm glad you said something, and I hope things get better for you.
*hugs*

Pffft. Don't be silly. You know babbling is perfectly acceptable in Zan. Especially during events so we can earn more currency. XD
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Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:51 pm
*hug* lol Right. It's one of the national sports of Zan.

Spent time today talking with my psychologist and thinking things over, but then I kind of hid from the conversation. Still, I think what I said was constructive.
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Rayven
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Tue Apr 24, 2018 1:54 pm
Yeah. XD

I'm glad it went well. It can be hard to confront issues sometimes.
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Riley
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Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:05 pm
I've had some sessions with my therapist where I just babbled about nothing. Those days were kind of a waste of time, but for whatever reason, I couldn't talk about things that needed to be talked about. So I can relate. I hope things get better for you *hugs*
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Rayven
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Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:49 pm
I guess I'm just weird. When I talk to a therapist, or anyone really, I put everything out there. I actually had someone tell me that I put all my cards on the table. XD The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I don't do it as much as I used to because sometimes I got judged for it. Which is a shame really. You would think people would appreciate talking to someone that is completely honest, that you don't have to guess what they think, or how they feel. A what you see is what you get type of thing. I would have really appreciated that from people. I hate it when people pretend to be something they're not, and it takes months or years to see their true colors.

Now I think maybe people like me are few and far between, and they just didn't know how to handle me. Humans have gotten rather good at hiding things, lying, and pretending to be something they're not. So someone like me makes them uncomfortable.

Not to say that not being able to talk about everything in therapy is the same thing. That's just a case of something being too hard to talk about.

Even as a child I would tell on myself if I did something wrong, and not wait to get caught. My Mom was always so surprised that I did that. XD
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Riley
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Wed Apr 25, 2018 5:44 pm
That is frustrating. I open up like that when I've gotten to know the person better. And when we hit a subject I can't talk about, I'll just say so. I can't speak for other people, but I appreciate a 'what you see is what you get' type of person. Very Happy
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Rayven
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Thu Apr 26, 2018 12:29 am
Yeah. It's not easy to always wear my heart on my sleeve. That's completely understandable. No one should have to share something they don't want to. Thanks. Me too. Very Happy
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Fri Apr 27, 2018 1:11 am
I've had therapists try and force me to think a different way, or convince me that I must do things I wasn't comfortable with. One guy was convinced I had multiple personalities. And I was masking so hard that I thought I was coping with the problems and stress of living here.

I wrote a letter to the psychiatrist, because my first language isn't actually verbal speech. I'm a writer. She praised me for being brave enough to write all that down, and asked if she could scan it and put it in my medical file. I told her that's what was supposed to happen. (I even only wrote on one side of the paper so that there wouldn't be any messing up of a copy).

I finished my Meaningfulness theme journal today, and left it with the psychologist to look at, so she could see more of me. I also surprised her with my favourite song list.
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Rayven
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Fri Apr 27, 2018 1:30 pm
I'm sure she appreciates you taking the time to write all of that down. She sounds like a nice lady. Very Happy
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Riley
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Tue May 01, 2018 2:48 am
When I was in junior high and high school, I discovered that I was better at communicating how I felt through writing. I wrote a lot of journal entries, but mostly poems. Sometimes I would write snippets of an idea I had for a story, and the characters would be playing out different feelings, thoughts, points of view, etc.

Then I stopped writing for many many years, and I've only just started writing again. But it's not very much, yet it's better than nothing.

Interestingly, I made the mistake of re-reading some of my old stuff. Since I can write my feelings very well, just re-reading things brought me back to the place I was in when I wrote it. I was kind of an emotional wreck for the following days. So I've learned that it's not a good idea for me to re-read my stuff.


And holy wow, the few day shifts I've had during the past couple of weeks have been more crazy than my night shifts. I want to go back to nights, lol. I work again tomorrow and the day after. Hopefully, these two days won't be as hectic, but I"m not going to hold my breath.
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Rayven
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Tue May 01, 2018 4:25 pm
Writing can be very therapeutic. I should do it more often too.

Riley I can totally understand that. I think sometimes we think we've gotten over something, but really we just shoved it into the back of our minds. Some scars just don't heal. Maybe it would be best if you didn't read them. One time I read that a good way to let something go (If letting go is really possible) is to write it down, stand on a bridge, set the paper on fire, and let it go into the wind. I think that may or may not be a good idea with the fire. XD I suppose a BBQ pit might be safer. I'm not sure it will work, but the symbolism is powerful. I thought about doing it many times, but I never did it.

I don't like to think about a lot of my past. Not that I'm living in denial, but going over it again and again doesn't change anything so why torture myself.

Oh poo! Sorry it's been so hectic. I can see where day would be busier, and then statistically you're more likely to deal with some craziness. I hope you get some more peaceful shifts.
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Wed May 02, 2018 9:46 pm
Sorry for vanishing, guys. Migraine hit.

I'm writing down old hurts in a special journal right now. I don't know what I'll do with it when I've filled it, but right now I just rant. I call it my **** book.

Don't get to write much fiction right now, because the one friend can't play, and the other friend, it's hard to connect with her. And most of my fiction ATM is interactive.

Has anything new come up?
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I am Tam. Tam I am, I like green eggs but I don't like ham.

Rayven
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Wed May 02, 2018 9:56 pm
I wish there was a cure for migraines. So many people suffer from them. I hope you feel better.

XD I need a book like that.

Awww. Hopefully you'll be able to write some soon.

Not with me. Just busy. I had a potential customer offer me $135 on something I'm selling that's worth at least $250. :/ That seriously annoys me when they do that. I guess they think I'm stupid. XD
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Riley
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Thu May 03, 2018 3:00 am
Yeah, I left myself a note in the front, telling future me to not read the old stuff, lol. I've also heard that too, about burning stuff you write down. I personally haven't done it, but I would think it would be great symbolism.

I wish there were a cure for migraines too. I'll get them on ocassion and they're absolutely horrible.

Nothing new for me for now. Except that now I have a long break from work, which will be super nice.

Rayven, I hate that too. I get that people are trying to find a bargain, but sometimes their offers tend to be more insulting.
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Rayven
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Thu May 03, 2018 3:42 pm
Riley that's a good idea. XD Yeah. I might try it sometime.

I don't think I've ever had one. I've gotten bad sinus headaches, but maybe it's hard to tell the difference? I don't really know.

That's awesome! How long of a break do you get? Make sure you have some fun too. Don't just do chores. XD

Yeah. I understand wanting to get a deal too, but, to me, a deal would be $20-$25 off. A lot of the offers I get are people just wanting something for nothing. They take advantage of the offer feature. It's a constant struggle. XD

Our weather went straight into summer. Lol I'm already having to use the air conditioner some. I was hoping for a break in the utility bills, but nope. XD
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