Rayven's Nest-35k to 1st poster on pg. 350!
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Riley
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Mon Oct 07, 2019 3:57 am
Hey all, hopefully I can be around like I want to, but my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer recently. It's not horrible as far as cancers go, and has an easy treatment (surgery). But before this, all of her care fell on me and my husband, and now this. And she is pretty much confused all of the time now, so between caring for others (as a nurse) and the extra appointments and stuff for my other mother, I am exhausted. I feel like my antidepressant isn't working anymore, and I'm snapping at everyone. Hopefully things will get better soon.


Rayven - *hugs* Speaking as a health care professional, I am sorry to hear you and your son were treated like that. I'm always open to venting Yes and I hope the situation gets better for the both of you.
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Saiyouri
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Mon Oct 07, 2019 1:37 pm
Tam- That's a good idea, don't know if he'd do it.

Thankfully my son is wearing all shorts so that's a huge plus. Nothing is rubbing on the top part at least. The calf is always bandaged so that's something at least to me.

Riley- *hugs* I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you can handle everything. And I hope she gets better. I know that's alot to say since cancer is kinda the worse thing in the world to get. I think my brain is kinda on vacation at the moment. I hope you can get some you time to breathe.

Rayven- Wow, *hugs* *tosses kitty confetti*

I would figure they would at least want to keep him for another night on watch considering how he was acting. I thought hospitals did that kind of stuff when people came in like that. I'm really sorry you have to handle that. No mother should be blamed. And some people say that you can't help someone until they are willing to help themselves, it's not the parents fault and I hope you don't think like that. *hugs*


Ya know... this month needs to start being good for us all and give everyone some good things/news. >.<
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Rayven
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Mon Oct 07, 2019 6:19 pm
Tam-*takes the chocolate* Thanks, I needed that. Very Happy *hugs*








Riley-I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she'll be ok. I hope you and your hubby will remember to care for yourselves too. Burnt out caregivers are not good caregivers. I know all about that, and I should take my own advice. XD My prayers are with you and your family. *hugs* Maybe you should talk to your doctor about upping the dosage on your medicine temporarily?

Thanks. I hope so too. Don't get me wrong, I know he was abusive towards them, and I guess they were sick of taking it. However, the nurses that were there when he first got there handled it much better. Plus, I think they just saw him as an addict, and not the mentally ill person he is. I know better than anybody how frustrating he can be, but I guess since they get paid to look after him, and they have all of that training, I felt like they should have had more patience and been nicer. They're just human I guess. *shrugs*

I'm here whenever you, or anybody else, needs to vent too.

I forgot to mention that he was in a treatment center the last couple of weeks before this, but he got kicked out over something small. Trust me, for Dylan it was small. Apparently he came up behind a staff member and barked like a dog. That's his new thing. Rolling Eyes I guess they were uncomfortable, but I was lied to at first about the severity of what happened. I was told that he had a major outburst. I even called my son a liar (because he usually is) when he told me he didn't do anything. I guess I should apologize to him. Embarassed I found out what really happened later on so I forgot.

Then this morning, I was rescheduling an appointment for him, and the receptionist got snotty with me. Why is it so hard for people to be nice? And then people wonder why some people snap. *shakes head* They just get tired of taking the world's crap. Sigh Not that I would ever snap-I won't. But I sure feel like slapping some sense into people sometimes. XD








Saiyouri-*hugs* Thanks. Very Happy *gets covered in confetti*

Yeah, I would think so too, but they just wanted to get rid of him. I can't say I totally blame them, but what the heck are "sick" people supposed to do?! I try not to, but it's hard, especially when I get talked to like a dog and I get so many dirty looks. Sad Even though I've been trying to get him help since he was 4, I can't help but wonder if I missed something or could have done more.

I couldn't agree more. XD Hopefully things start looking up for all of us.
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Saiyouri
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Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:34 pm
Rayven- I thought someone who could be construde as a danger to themselves or others would be kept longer to be checked on. Sadly in this country where mental illness is spoken of more than other places, the help people need isn't really given. They are pushed aside til they are forced into helping someone. Sad.

That place really shouldn't of lied to you. No matter how uncomfortable someone was or taken by surprise, it's not something you should do. It will make matters worse.

I do also wish people would be nice. I understand you might have a bad day and all but if you are there to deal with people, taking your feelings or whatever out on them isn't the job you were hired for. Ugh some people I don't understand and probably won't ever understand.


Seriously why can't life be easier? Hubs and I found out that we will have to wait til next month to get our keurig. The litter we bought had to be sent back to Utah cause it wasn't packaged right and then we were told it had something to do with the shipping label. So hubs had to go out and buy some with the money we have left but we can't afford the keurig. My depression kicked in yesterday since we both finally agreed on something for our anniversary and have to put it off. Hubs wants to sell his VR set and I told him to keep it since he will be sad. He's all 'I want you happy'. >.< lol

It does seem things are ok for my son. My mom will always be crazy but he went back to work yesterday it sounds like. So at least he will be able to start saving money I hope. Just depends on how much my mom will steal from him. No idea why her husband who is starting to stand up a bit for himself won't try to get her mental help. There is soooo much proof in there home that there is something seriously wrong with her. He cut up her debit card so she can't access the bank accounts. I hope he takes her name off of it, unless it might already be. Or at least limited access she has to it. She buys stuff she doesn't need. It's the start of a hoarder home and it's too obvious. I know her husband is terrified of being alone, but dude, there should be a cut off point to that. >.>
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Rayven
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Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:34 pm
Saiyouri-It's really sad. They say there is help, and there is, if you mean doctors and therapists. However, if someone needs long-term inpatient care it is much harder to find. That's why there are so many homeless people. Plus, I don't really want to take away his freedom, I just wish he wouldn't abuse it. I could put him in what is basically a nursing home, but I'd have to get him declared incompetent. I don't really want to do that, and the judge might not rule in my favor anyway. I can't afford to just blow money on a lawyer, especially if it won't work.

I know. When I think of all of the things he could have done, and has done in the past, that would have gotten him kicked out of there, what he actually did seems silly.

Me either. I think some of them just judge people too easily too. It's not a fair or a good idea. We can never understand unless we walk in somebody else's shoes. Like that receptionist, apparently she thought it was ridiculous that I needed an afternoon appt. for him because he's not a morning person. She said, "And he's 22?", really snotty. Yep, he's 22, and if you try to get him up before he's ready he'll tear your head off. I didn't get to explain that to her because she hung up on me. Grr I should have called her back and tore her head off, but she just wasn't worth it. I have bigger fish to fry right now.

I know. I'm sorry to hear that. Sad *hugs* Oh the joys of having limited money and still wanting to enjoy life. I know all about that. I hope you get to celebrate as soon as possible. That was sweet of him!

The only problem with that is he won't be able to take her off without getting her to sign. He can't even close the account unless she signs. Never get a joint bank account. I learned that the hard way. Luckily, I got him to sign the papers. Awww. Poor guy. Being alone is better than being miserable. It took me 38 years to figure that out. XD
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Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:44 pm
Hey guys! Long time since I've been around, sorry about that.
Saiyouri
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Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:55 am
Hi, welcome back Miku how have you been doing?

Rayven- I really don't understand how somethings are laws. I guess certain things aren't laws, but if you choose to do something?

Well barking now does seem really stupid to be kicked out. Not unless they just got enough of him and picked any excuse to be rid of him. Which is so bad to say.
No offence meant by that.

I hope getting him appointments and that goes better than that one woman. I hope things do get easier for you.

Limited money.... I don't mind it, I only mind it if someone else causes the issues and not us ourselves. Then it really gets to me.

I have no idea how her husband got her on the account. Since he cut up the card (lets hope he keeps it like that) he needs to also make sure he can limit it as much as possible without needing her for it. Seems he works 80hrs a week and barley can pay the bills. The house they live in.... he's been there since he first married his first wife 41yrs ago...... He hasn't paid it off yet. He refinanced it a few times over the years and I know one at least is because of my 'mom'. The bank pretty much owns the house now since he is more paying rent for the place than anything else. And there is so much wrong with it that it's not even a totally safe house to live in but he can't afford to fix things unless he can do it himself but having back problems kinda ruins that idea. I wished I had a brain before they got married, I'd tell him to watch it. He would of had more in him to keep an eye out. Sadly my mom didn't get bad til after their wedding. And I do have a feeling that he is bringing out the bad in her. Like she can't mentally handle a relationship somehow. I know she is co dependent but not sure what else is up with her.
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Rayven
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Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:52 pm
Miku-No problem. Very Happy It's good to see you! I hope you are doing well. What have you been up to?









Saiyouri-I think it's how they choose, or rather, don't choose. Most people are just too busy living their own lives to think about the little guy.

No offense taken, I thought about that because it's totally within the realm of possibilities, but just the day before they were telling me how proud they were of him? Confused Doesn't make much sense to me.

Thanks, me too.

I can understand that. I've pretty well learned to live with it too. I've been different levels of poor since I was 18. XD

That's all so sad. Refinancing always seems like a good idea until you realize that you have to pay it back and are basically starting over. My parents did that once, but luckily they've learned from their mistake and will have the house finally paid off around February. Hmmm. Are you sure he's treating her good?
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Saiyouri
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Thu Oct 10, 2019 12:42 pm
Rayven- Those people probably are bipolar or have multiple personalities. Proud one day and then has to be gone the next. That really doesn't make sense at all.

Oh I'm not worried that my mom's husband is treating her well. If he started to treat her badly; I know for a fact she would deserve it. I've been on the end of her talking about him. Not talking it was non stop degrading him for being a man and saw her yell at him for everything and anything and calling him stupid in many ways. Gary, her husband I know works hard, he's been always like that. And I even saw her buy things I knew for a fact she doesn't need. Over the years I saw her bedroom (he sleeps in the basement and has for about half the marriage)start collecting things that were piled up all over the place including her own bed....

Oh trust me that poor guy is really in a bad marriage.

Seems hubs wants to buy me not just more thigh high socks for me to wear during colder temps but new nighties since I'm finding more that are a bit tighter and they are driving me nuts. Mostly tight in the shoulders and I can't stand it. Afraid that I might end up with another pinched nerve that I have to get a shot for.
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Rayven
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Thu Oct 10, 2019 11:34 pm
Saiyouri-They definitely acted bipolar.

Oh wow! Poor guy. Sad He needs to take up for himself, but it's probably hard for him. He sounds like he's really easygoing.

I hope you don't have to do that. It sounds painful. I have never worn thigh-high socks. I don't think I could. I don't even like regular socks. XD I like my feet bare. I wear flip flops or slippers inside all year round, and outside as much as possible. I only wear socks and shoes if I really have to. Lol
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Saiyouri
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Sat Oct 12, 2019 12:26 pm
Rayven- Gary really was a nice guy and I really hope he can fix part of his issues.

I wear long socks cause they cover more and keep me warmer since I do tend to freeze for long periods of time even if it's warm in the place. Plus they help constrict my legs and that's something I need since my legs retain water cause for some reason my body will fall apart without it lol.

Well today we are supposed to be having cold temps. Last night it got cold, windy and started to rain. This morning it's still cold and I'm enjoying it. Just need to get used to it yet again. >.<

We do have one 70 day coming up in a week but I'm hoping that goes away and it never happens. How's the temp by you?
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Rayven
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Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:15 pm
Saiyouri-I hope so too.

XD Well that's a good reason to wear them.

I'm trying to get used to it too. I wasn't always such a big baby about the cold, but the older I get, the less I like it. XD

We're supposed to have better weather this week too. Oh we got some rain just like you. It got into the 30's last night. I turned on my heater for the first time. Yesterday I worked outside a lot, and my sinuses did not appreciate the cold air. I wound up with a sinus headache and my sinuses were on fire. Rolling Eyes I guess I'll adjust. XD

How are the kitties liking the cooler weather? I think Bob likes it. He's been running around acting silly in the mornings. Very Happy
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Saiyouri
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Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:48 am
Rayven- Wow I didn't know cold could affect sinuses like that. For me I just get cold air in my nose and it hurts alot. I hope your nose settles in to the cold temps. *hugs*

Well Symphony is going through her last special kitty time, Night is already done. Zell is trying to play with the girls. Night mostly runs around the house for a good amount of time then just collapses for the day sleeping lol. Night kinda plays with Zell during those times but not like she used to. Not sure why they aren't the best of buds anymore but I wished they would.

I'm on the other hand having a harder time sleeping. I don't get good sleep and I can tell when I wake up in the morning. No idea why. I'm not sure if it's the wall the bed is against or if it's cause the ac isn't running and even though we have a air purifier that is loud running; I don't think it's loud enough and I might have to get used to the new sound level. >.> I so hate this. I hope I can figure something out soon cause waking up like the living dead is starting to get a tad annoying for me.
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Rayven
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Sun Oct 13, 2019 4:26 pm
Saiyouri-*hugs* Thanks. Maybe it's because I was outside a long time. I doubt just going to and from the car would have done that. Plus my sinuses are defective. XD

She'll probably come around again. I've noticed that animals go through phases just like we do. For example, Max was being much nicer to Bob, but all of a sudden he's bossing him around again. Grr He was even letting Bob on the bed, but now he doesn't want him up there. So I have to put Bob up there, and get onto Max so he'll leave Bob alone. Next week they'll probably be friends again. At least as far as an old cat and pesky pup can be. Lol

Awww. I hope it gets better. I don't sleep as well as I used to either. I'm not sure why though. We should probably do a sleep study, but I don't have any insurance. I don't know if you do or not.
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Riley
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Tue Oct 15, 2019 12:36 am
Update:
My other mother had a CT scan done last week that showed two spots nowhere near the cancers that concern them. She's getting a PET CT done tomorrow to find out if those two spots are cancerous (which means she would be in stage 4 cancer), or if they're something else, like inflammation.

And while we're dealing with this, her neurologist wants xrays of her neck to see if there is a different reason behind why she's having continence issues.

Most of this is falling on me because I have days off during the week. I'm going to be having a conversation with my husband when he gets home about the several up-coming appointments.

And I'm sick now. Hopefully I'll feel a little better by tomorrow so I can deal with the next doctor appointment.
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