So this isn't great, but feedback/encouragement would help
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Dusty
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Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:30 pm
So, this is a personal narritive, and it's not got a lot of characters or events, it's just me coming to terms with an issue. But, constructive criticism would help. This is another assignment for my English class.
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Personal Narrative – Rough Draft

He is ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’ my mother said. And he has the prettiest blue eyes. He always stuns people when they see them; there aren’t many horses with icy blue eyes like him. He has a milky white splash that covers the top part of his forehead and it runs down to his light pink nose. His thick black mane and tail are slightly curly and fall a little bit longer than the average horse’s would. His coat looks jet black in the sunlight during the winter, but in the summer it is tinted red. And, he has one little white mark on his hind right foot and it looks as though he is wearing an ankle sock. He is a bit mischievous, and a bit curious, however, overall, he is flat out stubborn. Anytime I’d try to get on him, he would wait until I had one foot in the stirrup, and then he’d start to back up. He would do this until I brought out a crop to threaten him with. He would also run away from me any time I had a halter and a lead rope in my hand, I always brought a bucket of food into the field to bribe him into coming over for this reason. He is an impossible horse; even so, I do love him. But, after years of getting to know him and trying to train him, I had a decision to make.

It’s rough making a decision to give something up that means a lot to you. It’s even more difficult when that ‘thing’ is a huge part of your life, and has been for years. But, I had to consider that I had a new opportunity laid before my feet, and in the long haul, it might be something that I would pursue further. I was caught between two things that I loved, riding horseback and playing my baritone. Horseback riding would eventually lead into, well, nothing very far from where I already was. Small shows at the farm once a month, and maybe winning a ribbon or two. Band was a new opportunity, a new challenge, and had far more room for improvement; I’d be learning how to march. When you’ve been riding since you were eight, and taking lessons sine you were 10, you develop an attachment to these animals. But, it wasn’t just my riding that I had to consider giving up. I also had to give up Hank.

I jumped into my bed and buried my head in my pillows before deciding to curl up into a ball. Aside from having to pick between Hank and another horse that I loved, this may be the hardest decision that I’d had to make in my life. I sat up and leaned back against the wall, drawing my knees closer, my face flickered with various emotions, my mind a rushing torrent of confused, sad, and thoughts about ‘what if.’

‘What if Hank got sold to someone I didn’t approve of, and they abused him?’ That was my biggest concern, my step dad didn’t know how to judge people in the ‘horse world’ as some farm owners referred to the drama and politics that come with dealing with other horse owners and people involved with horse shows. He wouldn’t be able to judge if they were first time owners, which could be scary, if they had a kid just getting into riding, and they knew nothing about horses. Hank was obese, and though we’d been working on getting him to trim down, he wasn’t out of the woods yet, and a relapse could kill him. ‘Okay, so condition one to selling Hank is: I get to meet the potential buyers and have the final word in who he gets sold to.’ I smiled slightly to myself. Maybe this would be okay, and it wasn’t as big a deal as I thought if would be. I just had to find someone that loved Hank as much as I did, but someone with more time to spend with him.

Tears began flowing down my face, but I smiled halfheartedly. It was a weird feeling, I was happy for Hank, he would be with someone that could give him the attention he deserved, the attention that I couldn’t. I was sad however, because I was giving up one of my best friends, and I couldn’t give him what he deserved, instead I had to find someone else to do it for me. I took a few deep shaky breaths to calm myself back down, and I let my legs relax and my feet hang off the bed. I still had tears streaming down my face like little rivers. I heard something moving underneath my bed, and a moment after, I felt something wet lapping an my heels repetitively, almost in beat with the ticking clock in the other room.

I sat up slightly and looked over my bed, and smiled. It was my dog, Ripley, another solid companion like Hank, except I’d had Ripley longer. I patted my bed beside where I was sitting and the little black jack russell terrier’s ears perked up, and she leapt into my bed. She put her front paws on my leg and began licking my cheek, as if to say ‘Stop crying, you’ll always have me!’ I smiled and patted her head. Letting go of Hank wouldn’t be the end of the world, and it might be best for the both of us. When one thing walks out of you life, another walks in, and your life can change for the better. You have to take a risk sometimes though, and you have to do what’s right for everyone. I knew in my heart that I’d made the right decision. I was letting go of Hank, so that he could have a chance at a better, healthier life, because I couldn’t be there every day to exercise him; and I was starting a new and exciting adventure that could lead me to great heights and that had the potential to produce life long friends for me.
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Celestrya
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Thu Feb 28, 2013 6:11 pm
I don't have any constructive criticism to share, but I liked reading it. :3
Dusty
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Mon Apr 15, 2013 4:03 am
Thanks Cele. Heart My English teacher liked it too. She just told me to expand more on my emotions and thoughts. XD
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