Social Media and Punishments
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Back to Forum -> The Scholar's Room [Nov.'19]
Riley
View user's profile
Send private message

Dedicated Citizen
Reply with quote
Sat Oct 27, 2012 3:08 am
I've been seeing a bit more of this lately.

The first thing I recall seeing was after a teen girl made a disrespectful post on Facebook about her parents, her father made a response video and literally shot her laptop. Then posted the video.

There is also this article that I came across.

The latest one I saw was parents posting silly pictures of themselves on their daughter's Facebook wall because she talked back.


I'm sure there are more, these are the one's that I have seen.

Discussion:
Do you agree with this form of punishment? Why
Is this something you would do to discipline your child/children? Why or why not?
Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented?
Do you this could have a negative impact on them? Why or why not?
Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?
Are there related personal experiences you feel up to sharing?
Anything else relevant
Reply with quote
Sat Oct 27, 2012 5:35 am
Do you agree with this form of punishment? Why?
I think shooting your daughter's laptop is just a waste of money. Also a pretty good way to antagonize your child. There are times where I get that the desire to one-up someone or to 'win' are pretty strong, but I expect parents to do what is right and fair, not what looks cool on social media. I think this father was out-of-line.
That said, I think revoking a child's ability to access social media when they have proven that they do not know how to handle it appropriately might be appropriate ... but doing that in today's world seems harder and harder. So many cell phones have internet access, and it seems like everyone is buying into the newest technology all the time.
I wonder if their child will just learn how not to get caught next time, or create a public account her parents can see and then a private one to continue doing what she wants but knows that they won't approve of. Seems easier and easier to do this nowadays.
Life without the internet seems impossible nowadays ... and I am profoundly grateful that I am not a parent of a child who is experiencing the first round of this new and I think very challenging world. Social media carries so many consequences and it is so permanent. Doing it right seems really hard and really important too.
The parents who posted silly pics to their daughter's FB account seem just fine to me. I'm not sure what they are trying to prove, really, but hey, it's not that permanent and I'm sure the kid will get over it.

Is this something you would do to discipline your child/children? Why or why not?
I think I mostly answered that above. I think I'd start dealing with education long before discipline, but I would not be above revoking internet access if I felt my child was doing something risky or irresponsible that could damage her/his future. If the issue was something that happened offline, I'd be tempted to handle that differently, though revoking internet may be a thought. Grounding a kid doesn't seem like much of a punishment if they're online all the time anyways and have contact with their friends that way. Though cancelling a special event or choosing not to buy something for them is appropriate too.
Using punishment via social media (mainly revoking it) is a tool, yes, but it shouldn't be the only one.

Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented?
I think there are better punishments for being mouthy, but I think that if a child is using social media inappropriately, dealing with that by using social media is no bad thing.
I don't like the idea of doing anything that is more than socially embarassing. Kids have a hard time of it already. I'd hate to cross the line into permanent scarring or alienating them so thoroughly that they won't speak to me anymore.
I modded on a website and I dealt with so many teens and preteens that cybered online. I had parents get those messages and tell me that there was no way that their child had done those things. I also had parents request to have their children's accounts deleted. I think that was fair.
Kids ... have no idea how dangerous that sort of thing can be and that is so scary to me.

Do you this could have a negative impact on them? Why or why not?
It really depends on what the parents do. I think all parents have to make sure that they are firm, but fair. If they are doing things to win points online or because they think it'll make them an internet star I think they're in it for the wrong reasons. The parents who posted goofy pics on their child's FB were, I think, making a point, but not aiming for cyber-fame. I can see other parents doing that for similar reasons. I don't know if that's good or bad.
As well, if they are too harsh or take things too far, they can damage their relationship with their children.

Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?
Really depends on what is done ... parents can cyber bully too though, definitely. I think any parent who has a kid who cybers online or posts explicit pictures should handle that privately. Those type of things can be so embarassing and devastating to a young child. They need to be dealt with harshly, but I don't think that should ever be public.

Are there related personal experiences you feel up to sharing?
I grew up before the internet really hit mainstream and I am so grateful for this. I've only really seen this sort of thing through modding. Those were other people's children, not me and not my kids. And I am so grateful for that.

I'll be watching what this generation of parents and the generation I'm likely to have kids does in regards to social media. It's a whole new frontier right now, and I imagine by the time I have kids that are old enough that this becomes an issue, this whole social media thing will be settled and something else will be the big issue that no one knows how to handle.
_________________
Reply with quote
Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:05 am
Do you agree with this form of punishment? Why?
Agreeing with an earlier poster, shooting the laptop is a waste of money, not to mention pointlessly overkill. What if she has friends with laptops who let her use them? All shooting the laptop does it make the kid more angry.

I mean, sure, it could also scare the kid to death and make her ACT more respectful, but really, fear isn't the way to do it. 8/

Using social media in general, to make a punishment public, actually seems a bit overkill to me. What's it going to prove? Not a damn thing.

Is this something you would do to discipline your child/children? Why or why not?

Doubtful. It's a social media thing. If I punish my child, it would be by taking that AWAY from them. That seems better than public humiliation. Gods know that I wouldn't want to feel like that.

Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented?

Ehh..... no. Not really. It's overkill, it's stupid, and it embarrasses/upsets the kid. For some kids it might work, but for a whole lot of others, it's a bad idea.

Do you this could have a negative impact on them? Why or why not?

It could definitely. Kids look up to their parents, and very few of them enjoyed being embarrassed in public. Granted, this is something that a lot of teens will see anyways as they develop and think their parents are weird and don't want to be seen with them, but it has the possibility of making it ten times worse.

Respect is hard to earn when a kid feels resentful for being the butt of a public joke.

Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?

It seems like a form of cyberbullying to me. I hesitate to go as far as abuse, but it's definitely not respectful to the child, and it makes the parent look immature as well.
_________________
I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

I draw! Look me up on dA: LainaInverse
Riley
View user's profile
Send private message

Dedicated Citizen
Reply with quote
Sat Oct 27, 2012 5:32 pm
I guess I should answer my own questions :3

Do you agree with this form of punishment? Why?
To be honest, I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Some level of discipline may have been appropriate, let's say taking away the laptop for a certain time period. But, my parents restricted me from certain things through my childhood and honestly, it didn't really do anything but irritate the hell out of me. What should have happened was a sit down with the parents and the kid. Maybe they should have talked about whatever it was that needed to be talked about. Growing up, I never ever ever had good communication with my parents. I also never understood the generation and responsibility gab between myself and my parents. I didn't understand what they went through as adults and they didn't understand what I went through as a kid. Communication on both sides might be very beneficial.
On the other hand in today's society, it seems that kids are not always being disciplined and lack a certain amount of respect. I guess I applaud the dad's creativity but I'm not sure how that's going to affect his relationship with his daughter in the future. Girls and kids tend to brood over things for a long time.
On another hand, it is healthy for kids to complain about their parents. We, as people, complain and rant to people about other people. Yeah, it sucks and it's awkward when your friend finds out you said "that" about them to someone else. I'm not justifying it but a certain level of venting his healthy.

Is this something you would do to discipline your child/children? Why or why not?
No, absolutely not. Life is challenging enough. If I ever have kids, I'd want to be as encouraging as possible. That doesn't mean I won't discipline my kid(s), it just means that I will be very mindful in how I do it. I am still very resentful toward my parents for things they said and did when I was a child. I'd like to remember that so I can not do that to my kid(s).

Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented?
Mmm, I don't think so. I think there are better, more productive ways to get your message across to your children. For instance, reminding them that you didn't like what they did or said. That doesn't mean that you don't like them or love them any less. You know, hate the sin, love the sinner kind of mentality.

Do you this could have a negative impact on them? Why or why not?
Potentially. Everyone is different and handles things differently. I know for me, I'd hold onto those kinds of punishments for years. I'm still trying to work through certain things that my parents did and said and I'm twenty five. Some things can be let go but other things are harder to do so.

Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?
I don't think it's either to be honest. Humiliating, maybe. What Laina said too, it's disrespectful to the child. I think parents forget that kids need to feel respected and valued as well. "Entitlement" issues are a different story, but everyone likes to feel respected. And why shouldn't parents respect their kids? They're going to grow up and act like how they were raised most of the time.
Reply with quote
Sat Oct 27, 2012 11:56 pm
Discussion:

Do you agree with this form of punishment? Yes. As a parent of 5 kids, the youngest coming up on 8, i think parents need to be aware, and adaptable to the world their kids are living in. No one was hit, no one was hurt. and the dad obviously bought that laptop, so he has every right to destroy it.

Is this something you would do to discipline your children? ih yeah. i hope that my kids will be responsible enough to not get into this kind of trouble, but if they do, its my job as a responsible parent to handle it.

Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented? I think i answered this above. i think if more parents watched what their kids did on the web, less problems/bullying/suicides would occur

Do you this could have a negative impact on them? no. Listen, these parents are taking an active roll in their kids lives. we only see the one side of this, and dont have any track record on the parents to say theyre bad parents either.

Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?
the times are changing, and kids arent playing outside,.. theyre on the web. we need to be in that world, watching for dangers, and making sure they listen when we call them.

Are there related personal experiences you feel up to sharing? no,.. not that i can recall,..
_________________
Reply with quote
Sun Oct 28, 2012 9:55 am
Do you agree with this form of punishment? Why?
No. I think it's the worst thing you could possibly do. Arguments are a private thing and you just don't put them on the net for the whole world to see. I can only imagine how humiliating it must feel, I'd never to that to anyone. In fact, I wouldn't put ANYTHING about other people online without their consent. You never know what consequences it might have. Not to mention it makes you look stupid and immature as hell. Generally, I believe it's best to think before you act (or in cases like the one you mentioned, please think at all).

Is this something you would do to discipline your child/children? Why or why not?
Never. See above.

Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented?
No. Like said, it's no one else's business. It's a matter of respect.

Do you this could have a negative impact on them? Why or why not?
Most likely. If I was a child and my parents acted like that, I'd most certainly lose all respect for them for a long time. Though I wouldn't make posts about them in the first place.

Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?
Using "reason" and "destroying things" in the same context seems like a huge contradiction to me. Honestly, why would anyone think it's reasonable to destroy things? That's something I don't get at all, and probably never will.^^;
Cyber bullying....I'd say yes. At the very least, it's public humiliation. It's not just limited to the child and their parents anymore, the child's friends, classmates etc., everyone possibly knows about it. Parents, how would you feel if you were in that situation?

Though I must admit I stay away from social media as far as I can anyway, there's just far too much crap and idiots I don't want to deal with. For the few people I can call friends, I have more than enough other means of staying in contact with them. If I had children and they wanted to use those site, I'd teach them to be careful of what they put there (and generally respect others, of course). Not everything belongs on the net, despite what all those networks are trying to make us believe.

_________________
counter:
-

Reply with quote
Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:48 am
Do you agree with this form of punishment? Why
I think shooting the laptop is overkill to, but I got to say that it's kinda epic too. I didn't look at the video, but yeah, having your kid disrespect you and thinking that it will get away with it is just unacceptable. I think when the parents bought the thing for their child, they didn't want it to be used for that. It's in essence something they bought out of love for their child and having a kid not understand that is just hurtful.
I know it would probably antagonize a kid more. Maybe even hate their parents, but yeah, I'm guessing most parents would talk to their kid about it first. Maybe in this case they talked to their child a lot before and the kid simply didn't listen. So they resort to these extreme measures. Things like this often escalate.
Then you'd think but WHY punish the laptop by shooting it. Why?! Why?! Why?! So wasteful!
I'd give it away or something, but well...a lot of people don't want to go to long lengths to clean it up and sell it/give it away and if they'd take it away from their child and store it, it would be useless anyways. To be honest, something like that is their property anyways and people are allowed to do anything with it...

Is this something you would do to discipline your child/children? Why or why not?
Haha no, I'd just take the laptop away after warning them about the consequences of their actions and tell them that they can do their homework on the main computer where there's supervision or on my laptop where I'll know where the kid has browsed to C:
I don't like spoiled brats who think they get things they want just by being a whiny kid. So yeah, I'd be strict like that. I wouldn't be surprised if my bf would do something like break the laptop. Kinda depends if it's an old one or not haha
He's pretty much got a deep hatred for people who aren't grateful towards their parents and don't realize how fortunate they are to have people who actually love them.
The posting of silly pictures is something my bf definitely would do to humiliate our kid. Simply to teach them a lesson. I don't go on stuff like Facebook and such and wouldn't make a new account to do something like that. I dunno, I think that my kid wouldn't even be disrespectful like that and if they would he or she would know that we would do something about it anyways. Maybe it would happen in a more lighthearted way.
I read this story about this kid being very ashamed of his father who was a stay at home dad and would wave him off to school. The dad heard about it and to get the kid back he would dress up every time he would wave the kid off. Things like a pirate, fairy that sorta stuff. It was really embarrassing for the kid, but you gotta say, it's also really awesome xD

Are there situations where this kind of punishment is warrented?
No on the shooting, but I can understand it happening when there's a lot of emotions involved. Yes, on the posting weird pics. But only when I know that my kid can take it.

Do you this could have a negative impact on them? Why or why not?
Sure, it can have a negative effect. Buuuut I also think it's all in the way you raise your kid. That's the most important thing. If you already taught them that things like this are unacceptable then they really won't do it. Such things don't come out of the blue. There's always already a lack of education on the parents' part.

Is this reasonable or is this a form of cyber bullying?
Again depends on the maturity of the kid. If they find it more like harmless fun or if they actually get into a depression or something of the like.
Cyber bullying is really something quite different, though. It's oftentimes not a one time thing, but repetitive...and also with multiple people ganging up on one person. I wonder if kids like these would keep on doing it and parents like these keep on shooting laptops and hassling their kids' profiles.

Are there related personal experiences you feel up to sharing?
Neh, nothing here. My parents don't really know how to use computers, except to play their games and go on someting like a messenger. Also, I have respect for my parents, even though they haven't always been respectful to me. Always, I think about kids not having any parents or parents who abuse their own kids mentally or physically and I always think that my childhood could have been a LOT worse.

_________________
@Achaia's
Joined 20 sept. '06
Engaged on 20-12-2012, became a mum on 29th of June '16
Reply with quote
Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:02 pm
The father is a basket case.

The daughter is spoiled.

(: the end
_________________

Display posts from previous:   
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Back to Forum -> The Scholar's Room [Nov.'19] All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

© 2006 - 2019 Zantarni / Zantarni Entertainment
Terms of Service
Members login here.

New members register here.
 
zantarni banner